Mom, Why are you so mean?

I hate that. I hate when my kids say I am mean. Seriously? They think I am mean. I am pretty sure they don't know what mean is. This question has come up after I let them stay up late to finish a movie, take them bowling, buy them smoothies and fries and wait while they play quarter video games, take them to Walmart letting them pick a toy or treat. I wouldn't say my kids are spoiled or rotten but it really hurt when they asked. I wanted to know how I was mean. I know for sure I have never instilled fear into them. Sometimes I wish they had some so my threats of punishment would cause them pause. They think I am mean if I don't get them everything they want or send them to their rooms. So my answer to them is I am mean so they will grow up to be better adults. So they will recognize/know right form wrong. So when I am not there they will know how to treat others. What is not acceptable. They usually only get in trouble if they have mistreated someone. But mostly I am mean because I love them. Of coarse that answer made no sense to them whatsoever. If you loved us you wouldn't be mean. So to demonstrate I told them that I have to hold Vanessa twice a day tightly in my arms and get her to swallow her nasty medicine that she tries hard to spit out. Sometimes gags then spits at me.I have to pin her down on the couch in order to put drops in her ear. She fights and screams and makes me feel totally horrible, telling me to go away. She wants her daddy, I am the bad guy. I want to comfort her tell her I am sorry but she runs from me. After she calms down, a good 5 minutes of screaming, she sweetly tells me "you hurt my feelings, momma" All this mean stuff I do is for her to get better. Because I love her.